Is It ADHD or Just Events? What Actually Helps Either Way

[00:00:00] Almost every event marketer has sat in this chair and told me that they think they have ADHD. Some have the actual diagnosis, most have a hunch and a calendar that looks like a ransom note. Nobody can tell me which came first though. Does this job find brains that already work this way or does the events industry make the brain work that way? My guest this week has spent 10 years being somebody else's brain for a living, got the real diagnosis and built a business around what she learned.

[00:00:30] She's never worked an event in her life and that's exactly why she's here. Today, which came first and what actually helps either way? We spend our whole careers wiring rooms, but nobody ever asked what wires us. It's Event About It with Maddie Morris.

[00:00:55] Welcome everybody. Welcome to Event About It. I'm your host, Megan Martin. And today we're going to have the conversation that everyone's having in the bar, which is, I think I have ADHD. Sometimes it's a joke and sometimes it's really not a joke. And we've got an expert Maddie here to walk us through it. So welcome to the studio.

[00:01:17] I put caveat on that word expert. I got to steal a phrase that I heard this other woman say on podcast. She was saying that she learned from experience and from figuring it all out herself. She said she was, you know, quote, the sickest rat in the experiment. So I would say that's the expertise I'm bringing. She said she was bringing is kind of from the pain that I've experienced.

[00:01:40] Well, I still think that makes you an expert. And I always love to give shout outs when I get introduced to amazing people like Maddie. So a big thank you to Mahogany Jones, our mutual friend who put us in touch. This is a topic I've been wanting to explore for a while. And as we know, the internet, especially like Instagram and TikTok is full of, you know, ADHD experts who are putting out.

[00:02:05] I let's use air quotes, air quotes expert, but all the contents the same. So I never really felt comfortable like reaching out to someone unless there was like an introduction and vetted process. So thank you, Mahogany, for doing that very thing. And with that being said, one housekeeping note before we dive in. Maddie and I are not doctors. This is not medical advice. Please don't come for us later. We're just having a conversation that's going on in group chats.

[00:02:30] That's going on at events. We're having conversation. Maddie has a diagnosis. So we're going to talk about that experience. But at the end of the day, we are not doctors. This is not advice. Take that for what it's worth. So let's get straight into it. Maddie, I would love to know your story because you started as an executive assistant who your brain was holding other people's brains. And then you got diagnosed, then started your own sort of consulting coaching business. So walk us through your trajectory and how you got here today.

[00:03:00] Yes, for sure. So, yeah, it is funny having a job doing basically the exact things that ADHD makes you really struggle with. So I grew up in Ottawa, Canada. I was kind of in suburbia. I played tons of sports as a kid.

[00:03:25] I had no idea that I had ADHD, but there were hints, you know, like I got kicked out of brownies for not paying attention and always trying to get the other girls to play different games than the leaders wanted, stuff like that. And elementary school was pretty easy. I just kind of was able to get by. I was pretty smart. And I wasn't the kind of ADHD that's like bouncing off the walls because I get that energy out in sports.

[00:03:55] And so I was more of like not paying attention in class, but I could manage to get by. So I go along, go to high school. There starts to be some cracks. My parents sent me, they remember they sent me to Sylvan Learning Center before high school, even though I had great grades in elementary. And we had to have 80 percent or more basically in my family, like just the standard. That's what it was.

[00:04:25] Bees and better. Exactly. So Sylvan was for me to learn how to study because they were a little bit worried that when I would get to high school, I might get into some trouble, like not being able to get by anymore on no effort. And they did this testing and one of them was reading comprehension and one was vocabulary. And I remember my dad laughing his butt off because I came home with these results and it was vocabulary way ahead,

[00:04:54] like a 25-year-old at that time. And then reading comprehension was like multiple years behind. And I remember it was because I got partway through doing this test and then I just was like, yeah, I'm not doing any more of that. This is boring, not interesting. Moving on. Yes. And ended up starting as an executive assistant, like a little bit later into my career for this charismatic, also ADHD entrepreneur.

[00:05:22] And I remember I. I think I was really good at that job because I had so many years experience finding tricks and workarounds in order to try to get by or to, you know, like get an A with the least amount of effort and that kind of thing. And that actually serves you very well in that kind of position if you're, you know, impatient,

[00:05:51] intolerant of like redundant things. So you try to find ways to create shortcuts for yourself so you can solve better and more exciting problems, that kind of thing. I would I would try to figure out how can I make my exec like have everything he needs so he's he's not going to have to call me in and distract me because it's hard for me to refocus after that and that kind of thing. So I really loved I love that work.

[00:06:16] I kind of realized every time on the heels of a oh crap moment, I would come up with a new strategy and that kind of informed how I would think about managing a whole other person's time and focus. So I used to describe my job as I'm like a Tasmanian devil. I'm trying to keep track of another Tasmanian devil. Basically, that's my job. I think that's a perfect description. People used to say, oh, my God, how do you handle it?

[00:06:43] And I I'm sure that happens with event planners all day long, right? All day, every day. How do you deal with them? And it's just it just I just do. I like it, you know. Yeah.

[00:06:55] And yeah, so I started to kind of teach my peers some of the tricks and tactics that worked and that evolved like to doing talks for the full team, starting to take on clients, doing one on ones with people to plan out their kind of ideal week and really take in that. Not you're not just like you're not just planning a schedule for what are you going to do when and how efficiently and where do your priorities been?

[00:07:21] It's also you're managing a human in their life with other competing demands. And to ignore that is to the detriment of even your work. So even if your number one goal is to get the best work you can out of yourself or your, you know, your team, then you should be taking those things into consideration to optimize. So that is an ultra long version of my story.

[00:07:49] But so now I when I started when I started having kids myself, that is when the kind of ADHD symptoms that had been under control my whole most of my life and just had been like a hum or something I kind of always had to figure out and deal with. They just sort of came to a roar like the the regulation aspect.

[00:08:12] I guess ADHD is like a regulation issue, like you can focus on stuff you're interested in, but you can't turn it to stuff that you're not interested in. It's very, very difficult. And same with the emotional side, emotional regulation was sometimes like fire up fast, cool down fast. And that doesn't work for everybody else. You know, sometimes that can be very stressful for others. Very much so. Yeah. There's extreme highs and extreme lows. Yeah. Yeah.

[00:08:40] But did you know that naturally people that are like neurodivergent or ADHD are attracted to others who are as well? And I think it's because we're kind of unfazed by the interruption or the way a conversation takes a tangent and then just comes back. It just is. It all feels normal, natural, whereas it can be a little more abrasive if somebody is not wired up that way. I mean, that would make sense.

[00:09:06] I mean, if your brain thinks differently, you want to find other people who think the same way or react and respond in similar ways where it doesn't feel like a surprise or jarring. So that would make sense. Yeah, totally. Fantastic. So, okay. When did you officially get diagnosed? Was that before you started having kids and kind of went out on your own? Or was this while you were still in EA?

[00:09:37] This was – so this was all after the fact. We already had, like, thoughts of it at that point because my kind of just capacity to deal with things had dropped so drastically. And the executive function kind of struggles with ADHD had also just, I don't know, come to, like, a roar, like, become unmanageable.

[00:10:01] And I know, yeah, with the benefit of hindsight that the way your hormones fluctuate can drastically impact that. Even now that I have all sorts of supports in place, ADHD coach, therapist, medication, my whole history of thinking strategically for focus and time management. Even with all those things aligned, when I get to my – I hope it's not too much information.

[00:10:28] But when I get to, like, the final week of my cycle, when your estrogen drops, that kind of drastically impacts dopamine as well, which is our kind of motivation. It's the same with me. I started tracking cycle for the last couple of years, and there are definitely moments where I feel a little manic or I'm overwhelmed and start to spiral a bit. And I'm like, okay, wait.

[00:10:54] And then I just go look at the app, and I'm like, okay, it's a normal part of it. Like, it's just that phase of the month. And that kind of helps, like, calm me down enough to, like, rationalize and be like, these are not real thoughts. Like, let's take a breath. Let's have a breath. You know, you always – it's always a blessing when that little, you know, flat or light bulb moment happens, like, before some kind of blowout. Yes.

[00:11:23] Before you decide you kind of hate all your friends and why you didn't spend any time with them. Yes. But, yeah, so, I mean, I thought it was pretty wild, like, the impact that can have. And it definitely has me feeling a little bit nervous about perimenopause, which is, I think, where a lot of women are suddenly surfacing with ADHD. Yes. I would agree.

[00:11:50] Well, that's a great segue into kind of the diagnosis of this. So, just for clinical terminology, the actual, like, formal definition of ADHD is a neurodevelopmental disorder. It predominantly comes in three presentations. So, inattentive, hyperactive, impulsive, and then a combined of the two of them. Most women normally don't get diagnosed until later in their life.

[00:12:18] And to get officially diagnosed, like, as an adult, you have to have at least five symptoms in the DSM-5 criteria. That was put on by, like, I don't know the acronym for it, but CHADD is the organization that kind of came up with it. So, there is, like, a formal diagnosis and not, like, I'm scattered or my inbox is a disaster. Like, those are not diagnosis.

[00:12:45] So, walk us through what it meant and what you went through to actually get diagnosed officially. Yeah. I for sure was nudged by a couple people close to me. My memory's not great. I actually don't have a lot of memories of, like, most of my childhood and life. But the diagnosis I went to, we have in Ontario, Canada, there's a group called Springborn, and they kind of specialize in ADHD.

[00:13:14] And it was, like, a multi-step process with psychotherapists, psychiatrists, many hours. They interviewed, like, my husband. My parents filled out questionnaires as well and stuff like that. And, yeah, so then I was, yeah, diagnosed.

[00:13:35] And it was like, you know, if you've ever had a, you know, a bad boyfriend and only when you break up do all your friends surface, like, the real opinions about them. Yeah. It was just like when I told friends, so many of them were like, yeah, you know. Like, we've known this the whole time about you. I'm thinking, why didn't nobody tell me? But there was signs, for sure. Definitely.

[00:14:03] So it was a longer process. And then I started with, you know, some coaching therapy, that kind of thing. But I just, I gotta say, because a lot of the time people will talk about this kind of grief that happens over, you know, what could have been if you had known earlier. And that part, my experience was a little bit softer, I guess, with my past.

[00:14:33] Like, it was, I felt a lot of just relief and grace. Because a lot of the, I guess, like, symptoms, signs of ADHD are easy to, you know, explain away. And especially, there's, I learned this from my coach, but there's so many, like, dichotomies with ADHD. It's like, well, you focused so hard on that thing. Like, why can't you do it over here? Or, you know, you have all this energy at the start of the school year.

[00:15:03] You buy the planner, the highlighters, and you go, like, nuts with that and love it. And you have, like, all the intentions of being absolutely a phenomenal student the whole semester. And then the energy dies down and, you know, and then you just don't. Or you're like me and you're like, oh, this final project's worth 20%. My mark is this right now. I could actually not do it at all. And then my mark will be this, you know. So I'm only laughing because it's literally the exact same way that my brain works.

[00:15:32] And the rationalization of doing semester-long work and remembering to, I would go through the rubrics, like, in high school and college. And being like, okay, well, the final exam's the most important or the final project's the most important. So if I miss every test or every quiz, it's only 10% of my grade. So if I miss all of those, then I have to get these right.

[00:15:54] And just, like, the mental gymnastics of, like, how much effort do I actually want to put into something that I don't care about at all. And to the point where it's like, and even, or if you're avoiding something, so just as with this example, it's like, if you directed that all the energy you spent worrying about it, like, thinking about it, not actually doing it.

[00:16:19] If you actually spent even a portion of that energy moving it along, it might have been done, you know. Yes. So it's, like, this crazy amount of waste. And also, I mean, for me, there was, because there was no diagnosis or anything, I just, all the things are, like, you just attribute it to being kind of a crappy person. Or, like, yeah. You know, for me. And then there's so much guilt that comes with it, right?

[00:16:48] So, like, in your brain, you're like, oh, the birthday is coming up or the anniversary or, oh, I need to reach out. So, like, you have the good intention and then something else comes up and you miss the attention. Like, our niece graduated from nursing school 10 days ago. I've had a card sitting on the counter to mail to her for the last 14 days. Guess what? It's still sitting on the counter. It needs to be mailed. So, like, the intention's there.

[00:17:14] And I feel so guilty that, like, I haven't taken the five minutes to mail the card. It's always, I know we're not into tactics yet, but the most, like, transformative thing, I think, has been to think of, like, the tiniest next step or, like, the thing that makes it easy, you know?

[00:17:38] And instead of this, you know, like, what we're talking about, kind of just, like, mentally berating ourselves, what's, like, the tiniest little step that could be done, you know, to make it, just to make it easier, you know? So, it's, like, treating yourself like a toddler is actually super helpful. And I was good at that because as an executive assistant, you kind of do that for your exec. You're, like, okay, they're going to go to an Airbnb. I'm going to put the address in the calendar event with the direction.

[00:18:08] You know, you just want to make it, like, so seamless for them. And if we do that for our own selves, it can make our life a whole lot easier, you know? Absolutely. Well, a couple more numbers really quickly, just statistics, and then we're going to get into some of the, like, tactics and why this topic came to be. So, this is from the CDC, National Center of Health Statistics, 15.5 million U.S. adults of current ADHD diagnosis. So, that's roughly 6%.

[00:18:38] More than half of them get diagnosed in adulthood. 18 to 24 is, like, the normal range. I would be curious, this is, again, the data nerd in me, like, to dig into, like, the gender of that. Like, do boys and men get diagnosed closer to the 18 to 24? Because I think women get diagnosed a lot older, to your point, that some of the, like, traditional symptoms are very easy to explain away as opposed to getting a diagnosis.

[00:19:04] And the one thing for context for this conversation is there are no official studies for the events industry specifically. So, all the research out there is just general about ADHD. There's nothing specifically for the events. So, everything is just, like, our assumptions and sort of our experiences working in the events world.

[00:19:26] So, how all of this came to be and why Maddie and I are sitting here today is there are many times on the podcast I've had many event marketers. Almost all of them have made mention that I have ADHD, I have a diagnosis. But this theme just kept coming up. And so, thinking even of my own brain, the question kept being is, do people with ADHD end up in events?

[00:19:52] Because our brains don't think linearly and events are not linear motions. Or do people end up in events? And because of the nonlinear motion, that is, event management and production, with the 40,000 things going on at any given time, do our brains get rewired to think we have ADHD symptoms, even though we're not necessarily, you know, diagnosed or our brain doesn't think that way? So, that was the whole hypothesis.

[00:20:22] And there's a wonderful, I don't even know what to call him now, David Adler. He founded a magazine that sold. It was Biz Bash. Now he writes his own content on Gathering Point is the name of his newsletter and sub stack that he has. He put an article out in March called Everyone in Events Thinks They Have ADHD. And so, then that's got me even more thinking about it.

[00:20:50] He went back and forth with another event marketer named Ian Morrison about the symptoms and all of that. But anyway, long story short to say, David Adler put it out there that he doesn't think people and events are more inclined to have ADHD than other industries. But what he calls it is fluency in motion. And all that is, is our brains do not function in a linear manner.

[00:21:15] It's not a step-by-step because, as we know, running events, there's a lot of things all happening simultaneously. And that is a perfect environment for someone with ADHD who has to hyper-focus at certain periods of time and complete a number of tasks, all very tightly compressed. The type of person that's like calm and chaos too. Yes. We hear that a ton in the events industry. So that's what David Adler calls fluency in motion.

[00:21:43] The theory is, well, the question and the hypothesis is, do we have ADHD and end up in events or does events give us ADHD symptoms? And I kind of broke it down in a way and I wanted to get your reaction on these.

[00:21:59] So some of the criteria that are used in diagnosing are often as trouble organizing tasks and activities, often does not follow through on instructions and fails to finish duties in a workplace, loses focus, gets sidetracked, forgetful in daily activities, often on the go, acting as if driven by a motor, interrupts or intrudes on others. I'm just laughing because it's so true. Like hate slow talkers. Yes.

[00:22:29] Activity usually shows up feeling restless, not necessarily running around. So those are all of the like official criteria that get used. Now I stepped back and thought about how does this translate to events? And this is where most of our brains go and why I think people say like I have ADHD symptoms. I can hold a hundred open loops at once and re-sequence them in a second. Can make good decisions on incomplete information.

[00:22:58] Because a lot of times waiting for the full information, the task is already moved on. Moving between the 30,000 foot strategy and then getting into the weeds very quickly. Completely calm when everything is on fire. So calm in the chaos. Train yourself to expect the plan to change. Train yourself to expect the plan to change. So again, that fluency emotion David Adler talked about.

[00:23:22] And being able to read a room's temperature faster than a lot of times you can notice yourself. So that's where I see that kind of translating into the event world. And really from you, Mandy, like is this an oversimplification? Like what are your thoughts on all of that? So, I mean, I think there is a super high likelihood.

[00:23:47] My, I kind of came at it from a different angle when you first floated this idea by me. I actually, so I started, I thought of a couple other careers where I know ADHD is extremely prevalent. And I could just immediately see some parallels based on what you just, you know, described too. But the one is first responders. So that makes sense. Like that they deal with chaos.

[00:24:17] I know with, you know, with the ADHD brain motivation, it's like, it's not just about, oh, whatever's most important. It's actually some interest, novelty, challenge and urgency. And so, you know, obviously those are abundant in the events industry. Plus surprises, being able to think quickly on your feet and getting a thrill from the solution working, you know. And so first responders was one.

[00:24:46] And then also like Navy SEALs or in, so in Canadian Special Forces, the unit that my husband worked at, they were, they, they, they're called, I guess, assaulters, which is like kind of, I guess, the equivalent. I might get, I might get roasted for saying that. I'm not exactly sure, but it's like the door kicker guys. Yeah, the Special Forces. We'll just, we'll group them together.

[00:25:10] 50% roughly like ADHD and like for, for that group. And they estimate probably more, but it makes, it makes absolute sense, you know, that, that wiring thrives in that nature. And it's like the, the, also the energy of an ADHD person. Often it's not like steady, steady, steady.

[00:25:36] It's a lot more like boom, hyper-focus, a bit of a crash, you know, like it's a lot of bigger kind of waves like that. And the events industry naturally is like that. Yeah, you have peaks and valleys for sure. Yeah, so the, the rhythm of that industry. And so the conditions where an ADHD brain will kind of naturally thrive.

[00:26:02] And that, you know, some, a job that's like easy, redundant, that you're very good at, which could happen in events. Like if you just progressed and you had the same event over and over and over, you could get in a position where you lose novelty, urgency, interest, and challenge. And suddenly your job has become hard, even though you should be very, very, very good at it. It's now like clashing with your wiring. Yeah.

[00:26:25] So there's that, that could happen or your own, your own personal energy and capacity tanks. And suddenly you're like not able to perform in that environment. I mean, I imagine the event industry also has a high burnout. Yeah, huge. I mean, a lot of what the industry is talking about right now is the burnout. And, you know, one of the things we love to do on the show is the event of the week.

[00:26:55] And this is one of my soapbox. So this will be my event for the week is, you know, event planning. We quote this statistic all the time. It's like almost 15 years old now. I think it came out 12 or 13 years ago. That event planning is one of the most stressful jobs. Like historically it's always been like in the top five next to like military and first responders

[00:27:19] that have way more consequences than, you know, the consequence of an event failing are relatively small compared to everything else on that list that the job, the most stressful jobs have. But we wear it like a badge of honor. Like, oh, I manage and like the most stressful thing. But it doesn't help us because the burnout rate is outrageous. Now we're having recruitment problems with the next generation who we all want work-life balance. They're prioritizing that.

[00:27:47] Well, that doesn't really exist in this industry. But we've worn the like, I have a stressful job so proudly that now people are like, well, I don't want that. So I'm definitely not going to go into that world. Anyway, so that's my soapbox, my vent of the week of like, let's stop honoring this because burnout is real. We're talking so much about mental health in the event space now because like we don't protect it. And we do allow people to get burnt out pretty quickly.

[00:28:13] I think when we talk about work-life balance, there's another layer that has to get added on. And it's not perfectly balanced at every point in time, you know, in events. Obviously, there's like times where you ramp up. There's the event. It's intense. You might make sacrifices during that short period that otherwise like aren't sustainable, like not eating for eight hours or something. Right.

[00:28:45] But then you kind of, yeah, there's like you come back down, finish the admin on that event and kind of move on to the next one, presumably. So there's that natural cyclical kind of waves. And I always picture like things are on dimmer switches, like you might have to turn down your kind of family focus dial a tiny bit while it's like event week.

[00:29:11] And as long as we do it with our eyes wide open versus like just disregarding our wellness or our other priorities or the things we're responsible for in our role that are separate from the urgent event or, you know, that kind of thing. As long as we have like eyes wide open and get strategic about it. But I feel like that's what balance looks like. It's just it's like awareness and being smart.

[00:29:39] Yeah, I think in communicating too with people and saying like my focus is here right now. I, you know, need a little grace in this other bucket because to your point, it's not going to be a scale. They're not going to be the same. It's kind of like them. Everyone's saying like, oh, well, women want to have it all. Well, you can have it all, but not all at once. Yeah, that's right. I love playing fun games with all of our guests. And today's game is called a hyper focus group.

[00:30:07] Focus group is usually thing we run like I run for a living. I do a ton of focus groups. And today I'm going to read you a behavior and you have to tell me if this is ADHD or just events. Okay. Okay. So first one, you haven't read a book since 2019, but you can recite the full run of show for an event you produced four years ago. That's got some ADHD vibes.

[00:30:37] I've got every book in my, in my house or most are like, there's a bookmark stuck in page 60, 70 when I lost interest. But I remember things that I was interested in. So probably a little of both on that one. 12 browser tabs are open. Nine of them are the same vendor's pricing page. Events. Events. Events. It does have ADHD vibes as well. It does.

[00:31:06] You can't start a task until the deadline is close enough to hurt you. Ugh. We, I mean, we all do it sometimes, but that is absolute textbook ADHD. Yeah. You lost 40 minutes making the color coding perfect on a timeline nobody else will ever look at. Perfect. This was exactly the tactic you used to procrastinate that other thing.

[00:31:33] That's like, there's, we all have vices and there's these procrastination tricks that seem productive. So no one's going to come at you for it because it seems productive. But really, if you're not doing the thing you're supposed to do, that's procrastinating. It is. Both. Both. Okay. You can't remember what you ate today, but you know exactly what time the buses are going to stage at your event. Events. Good prioritizing. Someone says quick question and your entire day is gone.

[00:32:05] They have ADHD. I like that one. Your best strategic thinking happens at 11 p.m. the night before and you've made peace with it. I mean, that is very ADHD and can be painful. Uh, yeah. I'm holding back my workarounds.

[00:32:33] But so I guess, you know, probably you would, you'd be the one to tell me if it's a common in events, but it's definitely common in ADHD. I think it's more ADHD than events and we're going to get into the workarounds next. But for me, this happens all the time. And so I actually started keeping a notebook on my nightstand next to my bed.

[00:32:53] So when I find myself in these like doom scroll, like 50 windows popping up all at once, I have a place to just start writing down and getting it out of my brain. So I don't be like, oh, I should remember this for the morning knowing damn well I'm not going to remember it in the morning unless I write it down. It's because it's quiet. It's quiet at night. Nobody has nobody is trying to make draws on your attention. And there's there's with ADHD for me.

[00:33:23] It's also if I'm like in motion. That's when great ideas come. Like if I was at the gym this morning and lifting like pretty heavy, but still between sets, I would have this like. Idea and I had to hurry up and write it down, you know, because it's the best stuff happens like when you're in motion because you're in like what's called the optimal range. You have some level of stimulation that helps your brain just kind of come online. Yeah, I love that. All right. Last one.

[00:33:51] You're completely calm during a real on site crisis, but unable to answer a simple email on a Tuesday. Yeah, that's ADHD. And I think I do think event planners can like train themselves. For that to be calm, like to be calm in those situations, but for someone who's wired up with ADHD, that calmness happens naturally. And then the strategic thinking or what to do is what you train on.

[00:34:21] But yeah, that's my take. That's my take on that. I would agree. Okay, so well, let's get into some tactics. So whether you have ADHD or not, working in events is stressful and chaotic as we know. So I think the tips you're about to give apply to anybody who works in this space, whether you're diagnosed or undiagnosed. And one question, ADHD moment here. What did a diagnosis change for you? Was it just like a validation moment?

[00:34:46] Or did anything drastically change after you like officially were like, I have ADHD? Okay. Aside from the kind of reframing of my whole past and the grace that I kind of, you know, had for my poor little past self,

[00:35:06] it definitely informs my strategy because one of the top, I think, time management skills truly is to know yourself and then plan accordingly. And so ADHD gives you kind of a cheat sheet of a bunch of these tripwires, I guess, that are common if you have ADHD. So that works as a great starting point.

[00:35:32] And also, I found it easier to take the judgment away. It's especially easier for like thinking back. It's harder in the present because you still want yourself to like perform at your best. But yeah, just taking that into account in my strategies that I would use without judgment, just as if I'm a scientist running experiments. I love that. I like the reframe and it gives you tactics to use knowing.

[00:36:02] So with that said, let's get into it. Like what advice do you have for people with a diagnosis or without that might help? I think my first thing is to think of your calendar, like to just kind of broaden your view of your calendar. It's not just about like what you're going to do, when you're going to do it. Your calendar is also managing you, like managing your energy.

[00:36:30] It helps you manage your decisions. I remember reading somewhere we have to make something like 30,000 decisions in a day. And so that just seems unacceptable. Like if you feel like your brain capacity is at a premium or under pressure, then it's extra important to take away decisions and stuff that's like unworthy, basically, of your attention.

[00:37:00] And so thinking of your calendar as not just what and when, but like how well am I going to be able to do that? How can I make sure that I'm going to have the energy to do a great job at this important thing? You know, a good exercise is to name what your goals are, what your priorities are.

[00:37:15] And then I heard this morning on a podcast, but this divorce lawyer was talking about, you know, what habits do couples do that kind of might lead to divorce or that help them stay happy? And it was he said, you know, you're going to say you love your partner. What if somebody cross-examined you on that and tested it, you know?

[00:37:40] So immediately I was thinking about our calendar and so it's like, well, you're going to say what your priorities are. What if I challenge you on that and I looked at your calendar and I looked at your bank account, would that line up, you know? Would you be able to defend your priorities for real? And I think a priority is a relative thing. So if you say something's a priority and it's not getting your time and attention, then that's not a priority, you know? So it's like, that's like Enron having the core value of honesty on the walls. It means nothing.

[00:38:10] I love the analogy. Love it. So then we touched on this, but knowing yourself is just such a key time management skill. Know yourself and then act accordingly. And so, you know, what are your bad habits? How can you make them a little bit harder? What things do you want to do that, you know, protect your time and energy? How can you make those easier? The idea of just wanting to build momentum.

[00:38:39] And especially with ADHD, momentum is like absolutely precious. You know how they say consistency over intensity. It's like showing up and getting your participation medal for some kind of habit that you want to keep going, but you don't have it all in you that day. That's perfect. That's perfect. That's just smart because you're prioritizing keeping the momentum going, you know? So I like to think of our calendar that way for our work as well. A big one is separating the planning from the doing.

[00:39:06] And so sometimes the problem is if you don't do this and you try to decide in the moment, there's a bunch of risks. So you're prone to going for instant gratification, doing whatever's urgent, whatever's current, whatever you feel like doing and whatever, you know, those things are. There's a good chance they don't line up with what's the most important dial moving work.

[00:39:33] So separating the planning from the doing is actually a really, really key, almost a law that you should have for your site create. So, and then on that note of laws, sometimes for me, having like a framework or a rule is quite freeing. Like it's not constraining. There's a saying, constraints create freedom, right? And it's that it takes away the decision for you.

[00:40:00] And so you don't waste mental capacity on the deciding yes or no. So, so let's say you have like a super strict end time for the day so that you can make it home for dinner with your family, that kind of thing. Like that would be an example of a constraint that you hold hard to. And sometimes that constraint itself actually creates good energy in the workday.

[00:40:28] Like, you know, you know how the last day before vacation, it's like we have superhuman energy. Um, because there's this like, I'm getting on a flight at this time. Like, I'm not going to miss my flight. So you can kind of do mini versions of that, like a super hard stop time that creates that, that kind of procrastination pressure that you can, um, leverage right at the end of the day. That kind of thing. Yeah, some of the stuff I do in that same realm, like I speak a lot at conferences.

[00:40:56] So I had a friend of mine help me pick like a speaking uniform. So this is what you wear. This is your uniform. I have it in the closet. So I know when I'm packing to go to a speaking thing, like those are the blazers. Those are the shirts. Those are the shoes that I wear. And so then it just helps me create more space in my brain to focus on the content and the presentation, everything else that comes with travel and packing and all that. It's one less thing I have to think about. Totally. And you know what?

[00:41:26] It doesn't mean you can't change your mind, but you have like the default setup for you, you know? And that is freeing. You know, there's so many ways you can, you can save yourself and cut corners. Like you can have kind of a go bag with all your toiletries. That's like doubles of everything. And there's no shortage of tips online for ADHD. I'm so glad that it's kind of, what's the word?

[00:41:54] Just all over right now. Well, and I have two of everything. Like I have a whole second set of, you know, face lotions and shampoos and all of that, that's a travel set and a home set. So then I don't have to think about it. Like I've enacted a ton of tricks to help with that. What you were talking about is the decision fatigue because we have to make so many.

[00:42:16] And so if I can take one or two off my plate or at least lessen the decision that needs to be made, it helps me free up my brain to do other things. Prioritize. I mean, on that same note, there's this concept called point of performance. And it's relevant if you're an executive assistant or events or ADHD. But even in your own house, it's like you have to, you want to have the thing you need in the place where you need it at the time when you need it.

[00:42:43] So it's like you want to have a hook right at the spot where you would hang in your bathrobe naturally, you know, that kind of thing. And me, I have deodorant, you know, in the bathroom, in my gym bag, in my travel go bag and in my closet because that's where I'm about to put on a shirt. And some shirts you got to put on deodorant first or you have to wait till right after, you know, that kind of thing.

[00:43:06] It's like, you know, having just kind of governing like rules sometimes like that can help save a whole bunch of decisions. Yeah, I love that. So one couple of challenges here that I hear this a lot when people talk about it, like tips for helping with ADHD and organization prioritization. I can't speak. One is time blocking your calendar.

[00:43:34] So like I'm going to do these tasks and you block, you know, two hours or 30 minutes or whatever it is to focus on a task. I have found that doesn't really work for me. So I wanted to get your thoughts on that. And then the other piece of it is in events, we're traveling a lot. So I'm great when I'm at home and I have a routine and a schedule. But then as soon as I leave and go on show site for a week or I'm speaking at an event for a couple of days, I have to come home.

[00:44:02] There's like this re-entry period. So any advice or tips to get re-centered once your whole schedule kind of gets thrown off because you're on show site working, you know, 15, 16 hour days? Yes, totally. Okay, there's a couple of things. So obviously when you're at home, you have like rituals, rhythms that are already decided. What happens when we're away is all of a sudden decisions that were automatic are like back on the table requiring attention.

[00:44:35] And so one thing would be, if possible, like adding an extra day when you get back home to like recalibrate and get yourself set up. So you can start work on your kind of front foot again versus being responsive immediately as soon as you get home. I mean, that's not always possible, but that is like ideal. The other thing is when you're, when your schedule changes all the time, like you don't have kind of a predictable structure.

[00:45:03] Then what I recommend is that you install like structure kind of formulas and ways of batching context versus time. So if, say you have an event, a calendar event, like a time block, like you're saying that you kind of is not, you're not actually doing it. So I would call that like a stale event that, that you sort of kick it down the road. It's like lost its importance.

[00:45:29] That's a time when you need to look at it and say, okay, I need, either I need more clarity on exactly what I'm supposed to do in that time. I need to shrink the window to apply more pressure so that I can actually do it for that slice of time because I'm not going to do it for three hours. And try that first, a slice. And then add some support. Like don't just add pressure to your future self expecting something that didn't work this week to just suddenly magically work next week. Add something that's going to make it easier.

[00:45:55] So whether that's lining up a coworker to body double with you and do like a focused hour, even if you're not doing the same work or going to a new location, you know, headphones, music, whatever. Like basically go through the first clarity exactly what am I going to do in that time block. Eliminate your distractions. You got to manage your tech or your tech will manage you. So that's notifications, silence it, whatever for this certain block of time.

[00:46:25] You can pause your Gmail so no new emails pop up. And then get to it exactly for that amount of time. Use a timer, that kind of thing. And that will help bring that back to life. And so then the other thing I talked about context batching. So having like theme days can be helpful. So that say every time like you have a client, you need to book a meeting, you have like a default place you're going to go suggest first.

[00:46:54] I like to suggest like a meeting time right off the bat. I remember learning back in the day that the average was like seven emails to book a meeting. And it's not like that anymore, I think, with our booking tools. But still, I was like, that's unacceptable. So being the first the person to suggest a time is pretty smart because you can do it according to like what would work best for you. Plus, it's a gift to the other person because they have the chance to just be like, yes, you know, and nothing else.

[00:47:24] They don't have to hunt for it. But yeah, so it's really mutually beneficial. So theme days or having a formula. So no matter where you are, let's say you're like formula is I picture a day as two chunks, one most important task for each chunk morning and afternoon. And in the middle, I make sure that I work out, move my body, whatever it is, something that will like recharge you.

[00:47:49] So that could be an example of a super easy formula that you can just lean on that, you know, at least because we all have never ending to do this. At least you will get the two most important things done. I love that advice. That's great because I've tried the time blocking, but I've never done like maybe there's a morning task and afternoon task.

[00:48:09] I mean, I think I made my structures too rigid and then I felt like constrained by my time blocking and I needed more fluidity in some of the ways that I worked. There's a sweet spot, right? And it's like you also have to build you have to like rebuild self-trust sometimes that you're going to make a good decision.

[00:48:31] So sometimes you need a little bit more rigidity to like just rebuild, get used to like decide, follow through, close the loop, decide, follow through, close the loop. And then it's you can make better decisions on the fly. Or if your energy is depleted, you might need a little bit of extra like clarity. Plus you might reduce like the pressure.

[00:48:52] But yeah, so I would say the two big things are like if you're going to try to apply pressure in the future for your future self, then make sure you add some support, especially if it hasn't worked in the past. And try to batch context because we waste a lot of time context switching.

[00:49:15] Like there's effort required to like reload context between whether it's between clients or types of work or whatever it is. And so you can kind of experiment with that to save brain power because every the way I see it, every every thought, every like rumination is like a unit of time spent thinking about it. And so if you get in a state in a state where you, you know, have you ever had this where you read like the same email multiple times, but you're not really going to take action on it?

[00:49:45] Yes. Yes. No, it's like, oh, why did I even do that? So if you're not in a position to take action, don't read it at all because it's yeah, it's not good. And if you have ADHD and you read an email and it's like exciting news, then you get like the dopamine spike of like whatever and you haven't done the work. So then later you're going to go to do the follow through and there's no like energy because you already got like the hit.

[00:50:15] You already know the news. You already got your dopamine hit from it. Exactly. I know it seems so strange, but like that actually is is a problem. Yeah, it makes total sense. All right. So as we're wrapping up here, the question we posed at the beginning was, do people with ADHD end up in events or does events give you ADHD or give you ADHD symptoms? I thought when I first thought of this question, I thought it would be an or, but I think the answer is yes. I think it's both.

[00:50:45] And I think people who have ADHD thrive in the events world and thrive in this environment because it is nonlinear and our brains are always in motion and so are events. But I think if you don't have ADHD, you can end up with ADHD symptoms, the fluid in motion, as David Adler calls it. So I think the answer is yes. What's your take on the question, on the hypothesis? The hypothesis.

[00:51:12] Like, you know, officially, I think ADHD is present like before 12 years old. Don't quote me, but I'm pretty, this is what I learned. But before 12 years old and often highly genetic. So if you have it, there's a good chance one of your parents also does. Yes.

[00:51:38] So, but that being said, I think a lot of our environment like can crank up ADHD symptoms and events, the event industry is for sure rampant.

[00:51:51] Like this very environment where an ADHD person thrives can be suddenly making it hard to function and making things difficult, like normal kind of ADHD person. I read this thing this morning.

[00:52:10] It was, I can't remember what her name was, but it was like ADHD is like learning you're really bad at Mario Kart and then finding out you had 40 times more banana peels than everyone. So, I'm like, and then I would add to that. It's like, and then you have people saying, well, everybody slips off and henna peels sometimes, you know? Another great, great analogy. Okay. Well, we close every episode with a curiosity card.

[00:52:39] So you can pick purple, yellow or purple, blue, or like a pink, red. Ooh, pink. Pink. Okay. Five years from now, what's, what's one exciting thing you hope you're doing? Oh, okay. I hope that I've opened these cafes that are like a focus lab and you, when you, you have something you need to do or like something you've been avoiding,

[00:53:08] you just, you pop into the focus lab. You can follow one of our formulas. Like where you go in a special room, you could, you have headphones. You can choose like your type of focus sound. You decide with the help of, you know, a coach or not exactly what you're going to get done and focus on for that time. And you can get your, like your stimmies at the place. You get a nice, a coffee or a matcha or whatever it is for you.

[00:53:37] Um, not ADHD meds, you know, but you kill all your distractions and then you get your work done. And then in the, in the cafe, we have a timer. Like, have you seen Monsters Inc where they have like the scare timer? So it's like tasks done today in here. And so when you're done, you get to like ring the bell or whatever, some, some version of, of that.

[00:53:59] Um, and it's located, sorry for going a little bit further, but, and it's located like right beside a gym because I find right after a workout, I'm like right at my peak creativity. And I'm like rushing to try to get my thoughts down, but I have to get all the way home or whatever. So it was like, if it was right beside the gym, that would be ideal. Um, I love this focus cafe idea. Like sign me up. I'm here for it.

[00:54:23] I used to participate in these like cave days where it's just like an open zoom and every, anyone random can sign up for a cave day. And you have like 90 minutes on the clock and you're just co-working with a bunch of people and you put what task you're going to try to accomplish in the time that you're in the cave. And then it's everyone just kind of silently working or headphones with whatever, you know, noise or stimulus they need to stay focused. And it was amazing. Like I loved doing cave days.

[00:54:53] It's the best. And I feel like those are like some of the, those are examples of like the scaffolding you can put in your calendar before, you know what you're going to do with it. There's always something important that could use your focus that is at risk of being neglected. So it's like having a preset, you know, cave, cave day, hour or afternoon, whatever it is in your calendar is a great way to automatically make sure you don't lose sight of some of those things, you know? Yeah. Amazing.

[00:55:21] Well, I probably could keep talking to you for another hour. I think we could go on and on, but thank you for joining us for an amazing episode, talking all things ADHD. Tell the people where they can find you, where they can hire you if they need support. Thank you. So I'm on LinkedIn, Maddie Morris and on Instagram. It's Maddie Morris. That's my handle. And so I do, yeah.

[00:55:48] I do talks at events about kind of managing time and energy under pressure or that whatever kind of is relevant for that group. I do team workshops is one of my favorite things because how we act as a team drastically impacts how we can be can perform as individuals. So team workshops and then one on one where I'll do, you know, ideal optimal week planning sessions quarterly with with clients.

[00:56:13] And with an option of kind of like helping with that implementation, clearing obstacles as they come up because they, you know, the best laid plans. We still, you know, come up against obstacles and stuff like that. And so I absolutely love helping people just feel that they have more agency over their time. And I feel like I write permission slips to value your time higher and treat yourself accordingly. Yeah, that's amazing.

[00:56:43] Well, thank you for joining us. This is another amazing episode of Event About It. And until next time, stay curious.